This is my first blog post! I'm using zonelets for it, with some tweaks and such. (I really like the sidebar for all the posts. Hopefully I ironed out all the quirks. Not into the idea of having to redo every blog post I make if I end up making quite a lot so I tried to keep it simple.

It's currently 3:53 am. I'm struggling to sleep and I'm quite stressed out. Going to take some meds and try to sleep and hope sunday is a bit easier.

My greatest fear right now is becoming homeless again. I'm so scared of it. I'm pretty sure if I do, that will be it. I will kill myself. I just can't handle it again. I'm trying so hard to get better but the future looks so bleak. And I'm so scared. And alone. All the advice doctors and people online give me is community. But what does one do when they don't have any? I have no one to rely on. I really can't do it. I'm just hoping, hoping so so very hard that I'll get... lucky.

My first post is quite depressing. I hope that when I look back on my posts in the future, I can say 'things got better'. They never have in my experience but I think we need delusion to make it through this hell world.

I doubt anyone read this. But thanks if you did.